Child psychologist Dr Michael Carr-Gregg lashes out against ‘crappy parenting’ in new book
ONE of Australia’s leading psychologists has issued a damning assessment of Australian parents: you are doing a crap job.
Dr Michael Carr-Gregg’s new book, Strictly Parenting, includes a chapter titled “The Unfortunate Rise of Crap Parenting”. In it he details some of the “dysfunctional, over-involved parenting styles that have emerged in the past two decades”.
As Dr Carr-Gregg notes in the book, some people “may be offended by the term ‘crap’, arguing that parenting is hard enough without psychologists slagging them off for being incompetent”.
“But the truth is that they are crappy,” he said.
The problem, he told the Herald Sun, is a “vitamin ‘N’ deficiency in Australian parenting”.
“Learn to say no,” he said.
In the book he notes the rise of children with compliant parents who are totally indulged.
“Many of the parenting practices I have observed over the last decade fly in the face of a mountain of sound research,” he said.
“We know what children need to help them grow into healthy and resilient adults … yet I’m seeing large numbers of Australian parents hesitant to set limits or boundaries,” he said.
He said sometimes children “need to feel badly – it’s how they learn to cope”.
“This doesn’t mean that we stand aside and tell them to get over it. We support them by acknowledging how they feel and letting them know that we’re there to help if they need us,” Dr Carr-Gregg said.
Andrew Fuller, psychologist and author of a new book calledTricky Teens, disagreed with Dr Carr-Gregg’s analysis. He said parents were “doing a pretty good job”.
“The relationship between kids and their families is very strong, and kids look up to their parents in positive ways,” he said.
“Parents are very concerned about the wellbeing of their kids, but most of their kids are doing well”.
Mr Fuller surveyed 16,000 young people as part of the Resilient Youth Australia project, and said the findings didn’t reflect Dr Carr-Gregg’s views.
“It’s popular to see young people on the verge of catastrophe, but young people are brighter and happier than ever,” he said.
“The idea of wanting success and wanting it now is not such a bad thing.
The Resilience Youth Australia latest report found 40 per cent of young people aged four to twelve have good or excellent resilience.
It found the areas of strength for young Australians are boundaries and expectations and a sense of connectedness to the adults in their lives including parents and teachers.
Parenting blogger Michaela Cox from notanotherslipperydip.com also objected to the use of the word “crap”.
Something called the 'resilient youth project' found otherwise.
Hardly surprising with a name like that.
A leading child welfare expert who introduced resilience to the sociopaths in the sector promoted the following case a a fantastic example of a resilient child.
This little kids mum dies and is slowly rotting in the house, yet everyday he goes to school and with just a couple of slices of bread and no filling- tricks everyone into thinking everything is alright at home.
She never gave the example of how this kids new domestic circumstances was discovered.
I assume the smell finally got to someone or the kid collapsed from malnutrition.
Whatever....he was held up as an outstanding example of resilience.
WHAT WOULD EDDIE DO? MAAAATE! Share a cot with Milton?
'Think of the children, oh please won't somebody think of the children'
FFS, even this bloke who is a professor can't even quite get it right. I'm no Prof but I can tell you that kids are like puppies, they just need consistency and reliability. And BP before you start calling me a nuddy just know I have a lot of experience in this field.
Fatal mistakes with kids start with treating them as an equal:
1. What do you want to do 2. Do you like x, y or z 3. How do you feel
These are all emotive complexed questions that require an individual to understand the consequences of decisions and the context in which the decision is made. Most adults can't do this but we expect a child to do it, it's just cruel really. It is a great issue for this sight because the rise of poor parenting/child behavioural issues is modern phenomenon that has it's links entrenched in a dual income home. Both parents work to pay the mortgage so little time is spent with the child and when they do it's the path of least resistance so whatever the child wants it gets, whatever upsets the child gets removed or accepted.
In a nut shell, they are creating sociopaths on mass but believe they are creating an amazing example of man kind that has never had any boundaries just 'freedom'
Women need to use their early yrs to establish themselves financially, & then have the kids but don't leave it too late. you need to be there for them & not run off to work & dump them in day care. There's so many people I know that could afford that 1 parent doesn't need to go to work...you wann keep our brain going ? Well volunteer your time with some thing you believe in.
.there will always be people who aren't supposed to have kids. . .tough love, you are the child's world in their formative yrs stand by what you say & do.
.i wish fast food can be destroyed into oblivion. Technology is destroying simple personal interactions, Facesook is crap, full of dirty laundry, use it only for those you know.
Otherwise, don't have them.
As with anything the psyche is marketing & promoting his book by shock announcements. Some of those psyches can be a bunch of fruit loops themselves.
Newjerk? can you try harder than dig up another person's blog. My first promo was with Billabong and my name in English is modified with a T, am Perth born but also lived in Sydney to make my $$ It's Absolutely Fabulous if it includes brilliant locations, & high calibre tenants..what more does one want? Understand the power of the two "P"" or be financially challenged Even better when there is family who are property mad and one is born in some entitlements.....Understand that beautiful women are the exhibitionists we crave attention, whilst hot blooded men are the voyeurs ... A stunning woman can command and takes pleasure in being noticed. Seems not too many understand what it means to hold and own props and get threatened by those who do. Banks are considered to be law abiding and & rather boring places yeah not true . A bank balance sheet will show capital is dwarfed by their liabilities this means when a portions of loans is falling its problems for the bank.
You get that from my example of child welfare experts thinking its resilient behaviour for a child to be secretly living at home with the decaying corpse of mummy and not telling anyone?
Thats so cool!
WHAT WOULD EDDIE DO? MAAAATE! Share a cot with Milton?
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